Two oldies are walking down the village road and they find themselves in front of a house that is emitting smoke.
“Something on fire aye. It’s coming from the chimney”
“Na man that’s the election of the pope”
“Yah, I’ve read it in one of those, what do you call it, internet, if the smoke is white then the pope is selected and if it’s black, them fools can’t make up their mind yet”
“Na you’re saying the opposite. Black is they know, white is they don’t know”
Just then a kid cycles down the road with his one hand on his mobile phone. The two oldies, unable to walk fast to catch up with him, watch him whoosh past them. They call him out but he doesn’t listen.
“These puny little shits, always inside that sorcery of a phone. Do I have to send you a message on that thing to get your ass here, you little shit”
One of them shouts louder.
The kid stops and cycles back to them.
“Kid, get your sorcery out and tell us what’s that smoke mean in that chimney”
“That’s a bitch’s house. This is not saucery. That. Is. Saucery”
“Saucery. Is that bitch cooking sauce? You can’t speak “bitch” you little shit.”
“Not bitch. Witch. And not Saucery. Sorcery!” said the boy.
Just then they see a shadow in the window. The witch was putting on a hat and had in her hand a long tool, a wand?
“Well I’ll be damned” said the oldies and saw the witch move to the door of the house. She opened the door with the smoke covering her face coming directly at them.
“Give me that cycle, you little shit. Friend, sit behind me fast” One of the oldie steals the cycle from the kid and the other sits behind him and they cycle away screaming.
The witch… er the woman comes out of the house with the delicious Chicken Tikka Masala in her plate to the gate. Instead of a wand, she had a spoon, nothing like a witch it seems. Instead of a pointed black hat, she had a chef’s white hat.
“You’re not a witch.”
“No, I’m not. What are they doing on your cycle kid? Wanna have some?” she said putting the plate in front of him, looking at the oldies run away.