poetry

[314] No One At All

by Rahul Gaur

Being someone else
Being somewhere else
After a while all perfume smells are familiar
and the association of the smell with characters

Today I wear you
and try to see it all through you
The way I pause before I speak
The way I don’t pay attention to time at all
Maybe you saw the world as a rocky place
Maybe I read you wrong
Although I knew you from close
with little distance for two breaths
I still feel your mystery evades me
So I become a magic spell to know mystery better

All I have learned is how little you knew yourself
How everything you did wrong was beyond your control
How the smell of your perfume was chosen for you
How the world as a rocky place came from helplessness
How the pauses before you spoke were an effort to not speak at all
Now you don’t speak at all, something that you wanted or rather needed
So all I can do is live you through me
and become unknown to my self
decimating any speck of self-awareness left in me
in an effort to forget you like you forgot yourself
I’m someone else today
I’m somewhere else

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