poetry, Write-ups

[24] Shapeless Blur

by Rahul Gaur

I try to be a shapeless blur that no one notices
Curious about the ways I can hide myself
Under the garb of jokes and stretched lips
Under the static sound of nothingness that puts me to sleep
Behind the curtains of clothes to hide my naked self
Behind her strength when she puts her point across for me

I try to be a shapeless blur that no one notices
Curious about the ways I can lie to myself
With the denial that tightens and I just lie in darkness
With the bias of everything prevailing and nothing new
Without questioning my choices lest we fall apart
Without noticing her fall apart just so you don’t

I try to be a shapeless blur that no one notices
Curious about the ways I can tie myself
To a pole of sanity, filled with energy that harbours insanity
To the heat that melts you into a pot of anxiety
Through a lens, so obtuse you seem entangled
Through a reflection in her eyes that now shows only a shapeless blur

I am a shapeless blur that no one notices
No longer curious and no longer myself.

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24 thoughts on “[24] Shapeless Blur”

  3. This is so powerful and demonstrates mature insight – so often in relationship one compensates for the other. Where does one go, once they realize being “a shapeless blur” is no longer an option? I’ll have to follow to find out.

    Like

    Reply
  4. Pingback: [82] Ghostly Silence. – Smoke words every day.

  5. I like this poem. It’s indicative of how I feel on different occasions. You capture the mood very well between two people where you’re invisible to one.

    My only suggestion might come with the last line of the third stanza. For me “now shows only a shapeless blur” loses some of it’s impact because it’s attached to that last line. If it would stand alone, or be the first line of the fourth stanza it would have more impact. Such as….

    (remember I’m only suggesting and not an expert in poetry)
    The last line in third stanza could read something like this……
    “Through a reflection in her eyes that now shows anonymity”

    Fourth stanza….”I’m now only a shapeless blur”

    Then have your Fifth stanza, or have that verse attached to your last stanza.

    As mentioned, this is only a suggestion. I did indeed enjoy the poem as a whole and thought you captured a quintessential mood. Well done. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
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