[76] The Wrong Decision.

Heavy eyelids betray control
of emotions unaccounted for.
I say words that mean nothing
because I speak and not write.
Sounds vibrate my eardrums
when she whispers loudly
the three words
I longed for.

The longing is no longer there, though
The words cut me like anxiety in disguise
A modern world apocalypse it seems like
to no longer feel what you wanted to feel
A paradoxical paradise is a hell in real life
Her voice that simmered sweetly like an aroma
now simmers violently like a volcano in my mind
I lay here with her curling up on me like a reptile
The coil tightens as I laugh at my incapacity of not knowing
whether what I feel is true
Whether this is the slow decay of my little life.

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