[174] Limbo of Love/Loud Music

Monday blues with a crippling sickness
I wait for Friday night to not hear from you
when I’m in the midst of loud music and carefree souls
It drowns out my inner voice that calls out your name
Eyes closed, swaying bodies and feet moving in this little space
Thoughts no longer turn into sentences or leave me on the edge like a comma
It just concludes like a full stop.

The party ends and the carefree souls emit a foul smell
that arrives when the carefree become careless
and the drinking in of these sins turned to the club’s real revenue
I focus on this petty sight to turn away from my mind
that felt like returning to its old ways of remembering you
when it felt confused when it felt alone and when it felt empty

To some this night will be forgettable for they were careless
To some this night will be memorable for they were careful
While I’m stuck in between carelessness and carefulness
and stuck in between Monday blues and Friday nights
and stuck in between forgetting you and remembering you

11 thoughts on “[174] Limbo of Love/Loud Music

  1. Great dichotomies in this. I like how you start off exploring the different opposites, and bring them closer and closer until the ending, where they’re contrasted in direct juxtaposition. It’s also really clever that you’ve managed to make the opposites relate to each other – so that there’s a real story by the ending. Being caught between the sides definitely gives the poem a sort of numbness – very ‘drowning in the pain’, or ‘falling off of a cliff’. x

      1. Increase it, for sure. I think that it’s the exact tone I’d have wanted for the subject, and it, sort of paradoxically, gives even more emotion to the last line by being numb? Sort of showing how deeply it has affected the speaker, perhaps.

      2. Not entirely. I’ve always wanted to do it professionally for the rest of my life, and thus far, I HAVE been taught – but I now like to analyse texts in my own time, and poetry in particular.

  2. Not entirely. I’ve always wanted to do it professionally for the rest of my life, and thus far, I HAVE been taught – but I now like to analyse texts in my own time, and poetry in particular.

  3. It reminded me of one song of Lana Del Rey, ‘Born to Die’!
    Indeed when weekends come, the memories take a forefront and are only drowned with the appearance of Monday.

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