
The lie of your fragrance
it keeps me alive
The lingering waves of
the ocean of truth
sweeps me aside
I lie here with your
distant memory
to make me alive
But the boredom of
everyday existence
sweeps me aside
A whisper of unsaid things
curl around my lips again
to watch you not knock the door
shapes your remembrance
like it just died again
Your writing is too smart for me! I can’t follow but if I were smarter I knew I would (and would like it, too!). Thanks for writing!
You can always ask questions, i’ll explain as best as I can
Thanks for reading 😅
I guess for starters, what does the last phrase mean? The things you don’t say watch her not knock on the door, they shape how she remembers you, and then the words die again, unspoken?
Hi, thanks for asking.
In a relationship that ends, the aftermath of it is mainly dealt with remembering what we ‘could’ have said, what we didn’t say.
The narrator of the poem is thinking about the things he didn’t say and regrets that if he did, the door he is looking at right, would have knocked and his lover would have came back.
“It just died again” means that this regret is killing the memory itself now like their relationship was killed.
Well I think that “it” at the end is a little too ambiguous. YOU probably understand it, but I didn’t understand what it was referring to.
But your phrasing and word composition is pretty spot on. I just think it could convey more clearly to the reader.
Fair point. Will do it in the future. Thanks for the constructive criticism
That was a really nice post! You have a really nice blog going on here and I have followed to read more!
Thank you Anjali ❤️
Beautiful.
Thanks Phyllis 😀
I like that, very nice indeed, beautifully raw and yet intricately delicate at the same time 🙂
Thank you 😊
I really like your poem, it just makes so much sense in few lines.
Thank you! Love your display picture ❤️
Thanks, its actually Elsa character sketch from the Frozen movie. Disney musical movies always a delight to watch.
Yes, that’s why i love it :3
Beautiful penned lines Rahul. To live again and die again all a circle of life
Thanks Kamal 🙏
Welcome Rahul. Great poem.
Beautiful. Infact that doesn’t really describe how I feel. . . It’s just 😱 (Whoa!) that good. Keep writing 👍
Wow thank you! I’m glad you liked it ❤️
You got me in your second stanza 😭😭 I feel that every time.
Thanks Mia. How’d you feel reading this?
Honestly, I felt relieved that someone feels the same way. I thought I’m being weird when I think of the future without a certain person and then I get uninterested of everything in the future.
A lonely heart with regrets?
I nominated you for the Sunshine Blogger Award! Please check it out on this link http://www.jerriperri.com/sunshine-blogger-award/
Congratulations!!!