Remembrance longing and forgetting
Mindless noise of the tv filling up silences
A castle weathering heavy rain
It’s a kingdom on the verge of decay
Red carpet with dark red stains
My thoughts reaching out for nothing
I held the wine but
the wine couldn’t hold me together
and the stars couldn’t shine through the clouds
for all their size and energy
Bright lights and my hazy mind
Waves form in my head only to fall
How long will i live inside it?
How long will my ignorance keep me alive?
When will this castle crumble
and let in waves to crash my outsides like my insides
Will it be worse than what I make myself feel?
Will you make me feel worse than what I make myself feel?
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This would’ve been perfect for my Manic mondays 3 Way prompt: Castle!
It was a stunningly beautiful read.
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too late for it now 😦
thank you for your kind words, Laura.
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Nice poem !!
Really really beautiful 👌
Especially these lines – When will this castle crumble
and let in waves to crash my outsides like my insides💜💜💜
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thank you Akshaya 🙂 means a lot!
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Powerful and moving, I really enjoyed reading this Rahul :O)
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thank you so much.
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Beautifully formed! Loved the word choice. I feel as though there’s a different tone to this poem, in comparison to what I’ve seen from you before – but I thoroughly enjoyed it!
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Thank you, this is very kind.
If you don’t mind can you explain how did you find it different, would love to have an outsider’s perspective so I can write better 🙂
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I’m not sure that I can express it well – but it feels more ‘zoomed out’. I feel as though it’s less about a specific moment or emotion – as though the speaker is almost looking at themselves from outside their own body (especially in the third stanza). I have no clue whether or not I’ve interpreted the poem as per your intention, but I thoroughly enjoyed the way that your words flowed into each other – and it improves upon each reading!
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I think perhaps, that the images you’ve chosen are on a bigger scale, and have a more imposing presence, e.g. a wine stain, or crumbling castle – which is why I might feel this way? It definitely creates a sense of power, as though the speaker is caught in a tornado.
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“the speaker is caught in a tornado” is nice imagery.
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very interesting take on it. now that i think about it you’re correct.
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I’m glad! It’s hard to pin down a general feeling.
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‘When will this castle crumble
and let in waves to crash my outsides like my insides’. You speak my mind.
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im glad i do. loving that you find my content so relatable.
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‘When will this castle crumble
and let in waves to crash my outsides like my insides’
Such beautiful lines! 🙂
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Thanks Neha ❤️
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You’re welcome 🙂
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