[120] The Glory of Silence

There’s both glory and doom in knowing yourself. The glory is that self-awareness helps you to not make mistakes. The doom is that you still make mistakes and you are self-aware about it.

You suffer. You feel like your suffering knows no bound. No one’s suffering can compare with yours. But then you listen to others tell theirs. You realize you’re not in a bad state after all. But the question is if suffering is objective to compare?

The glory of this question would be that there’s a lot that you still haven’t experienced, an experience that has the potential to cause you more pain than you feel now. The doom of it is the pain you feel for your tiny little suffering is after all a suffering that caused you fixate on its magnitude. Making you feel at that moment that there is nothing bigger than your problem. In that moment, for you, your suffering is the biggest there is.

To face this wound, you try to talk about it with someone. What do they do? They compare. You tell them about your heartbreak and how your whole body seems to fail and you becomes powerless at the mention of her name. They compare it to a death in their family. How does your suffering live up to that?

As a species, we are doing less of listening and more of reacting to the idea conveyed in someone’s talk. If all we did is listen to their suffering, maybe they’ll feel lighter. They’ll feel the problem vanish in front of them now that it’s out of their anxiety induced mind. Maybe they’ll find glory in their doom. Just maybe, if we simply listen.

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27 thoughts on “[120] The Glory of Silence

  1. A very powerful statement and also very true. We as a species do compare each other’s pain and even try to outrank each other in terms of doom and gloom. It’s a very sad reality. And I think you have summed it up rather well, there is always a worse pain out there, a worse experience and maybe we should all focus on healing and helping each other than challenging each other to relive bad experiences just to oust one another.

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  2. Awesome topic! Only, I am not sure how to solve for this. I mean, I am all in for being the best listener out there. But when you do listen to someone’s grievances, don’t you naturally feel inclined to provide solutions? And the moment that happens, you start racking your brain for a previous comparable situation to provide insights from. Objectiveness goes for a toss right there. What do you think?

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    1. I feel that there is grievance time where any type of solution is unnecessary for them as they’re not mentally strong enough to make a sound decision. They should be able to solve themselves, all we can do is plant the seed of the solution and not provide them with what we think is right.

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      1. I agree with the thought – I might have to try it in my own life. I always feel pressurized, for the sake of the relationship I have with the person with grievance, to give up solutions… or at least take an attempt at it.

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  3. I feel like the best way to show empathy to people and that you’re actually paying attention is to ask them questions to allow them to analyze their suffering in a way they currently aren’t. I feel that by coming full circle on our suffering is the means to extinguish it. Some people can’t do this on their own. I also feel that when I do this and people do find awareness on their suffering, but then revert back to whatever it is that caused it or know whats necessary in order to change, that I’m no longer willing to listen if people are too afraid of change. Had this happen with a friend on here recently I’m no longer speaking to.

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