![[421] Melancholia](https://i1.wp.com/rahulgaurblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/04/img_1806.jpg?fit=720%2C1023&ssl=1)
The act of wanting consumesmy mind so much that I never realise what I really wanted after allLosing myself at the ends of her fading footstepsand the silence left by her echoesand the echoes left by her silenceI only end up imitating my wants than really know what I wanted at allThe melancholy monster consumes [...]
![[401] Whispers of The Universe](https://i1.wp.com/rahulgaurblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/02/IMG_0619.jpg?fit=720%2C387&ssl=1)
I live my days in a whisper Neither overbearing nor painful After a whilethe status quo nothingnessnags on my mind Sensual pleasures seduce to thwart all my progress I made without them but I give in The familiar guilt and theprogress becomes unfamiliarIn the process of thinking I forget to contemplate I remember all the [...]
![[387] How To Dissappear Completely](https://i1.wp.com/rahulgaurblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/224.jpg?fit=720%2C475&ssl=1)
I suffer in order to not sufferAnd because I do I try to make use of it and make the suffering singThe world protests atmy wasted life and the times I could have avoided what I felt but I gave in broken at seeing the relentless wavescrushing at my soul’s weakened rock I speak in [...]
![[377] Lessons That Need Repeating](https://i2.wp.com/rahulgaurblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/love-dark.jpg?fit=720%2C892&ssl=1)
Never thought I’d be back here The familiar mistake like lighting up cigarettes Learning to forget Committing only to let goI burn up all our memories in vain to let the pain goEvasive clarity the epitome of cyclical timePretension masked as profundity I let history repeatLost epiphanies to laziness of not writing it down so [...]
![[346] The Fourth State of Living](https://i2.wp.com/rahulgaurblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/09/346-1.jpg?fit=600%2C400&ssl=1)
All my biases and patterns point me to a living without ordeal A seamless painless life full of living 10 years in the blink of an eye but when I wake from my sleeping stateI realise regret creeping in I observe guilt of a life gone to wastejust because I stopped seeing when my eyes [...]
![[307] To New Beginnings](https://i0.wp.com/rahulgaurblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/04/307-3197571367-1587958269133.jpg?fit=720%2C480&ssl=1)
I am beginningless quite like the universe in which we reside I can’t recall my first word I can’t remember my first walk I can’t remember my first cry unless it’s in the form of my parent's memory of it It’s all inference with no perceptive truth like we reminisce about the universe to familiarise [...]
![[305] And It Rained All Night](https://i2.wp.com/rahulgaurblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/04/305.jpg?fit=720%2C480&ssl=1)
It’s hard to turn realisations into habits Even harder to let go of the old ones when they’re as familiar to you as insomnia is to the night The sound of people sleeping or the lack of it is somewhat soothing to your peace of mind but sometimes it disrupts exactly that As in the [...]
![[161] One of Those Times](https://i0.wp.com/rahulgaurblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/06/162.jpg?fit=600%2C425&ssl=1)
I'm on the edge of fading Lack of self-control in your eyes is raging The honesty is no longer hidden The silence is brutal but the end of it will be killing us We're trapped in a polaroid image Swapped each other out from a digital pillage We'll think of saying sweet nothings to each [...]
![[52] Maximising Misery](https://i2.wp.com/rahulgaurblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/06/disquiet.jpg?fit=497%2C750&ssl=1)
Today the feeling in the air is of lucidity. I am served my emotions on a platter tonight. A knife is laid down on my side to either cut myself open and venture into the unknown yet important or just let these suicidal thoughts rust into oblivion. A choice between self-knowledge and happiness I am [...]
